Friday, December 14, 2012

Flat Butt Syndrome

     You mean sitting on your ass for 18 months doesn't give you a nice lean bootay?  Hmm...well I guess that's where I'm at then.

     While prancing around our bedroom in my undies the other day, cleaning up various articles of clothing and water bottles, I snagged a glance of myself in our full length mirror.  My jaw almost hit the floor and my reaction was pretty similar to Kevin's reaction during his incident with the aftershave.  I know it didn't disappear over night, but seriously how did I not notice that my once roundish butt was slowly pancaking itself.  Flat as a board, missing the line separating my butt from my hamstrings... basically... 'what butt?'

     I know I've been busy, you know, wiping butts and dressing butts, but how is it that my 6 month old has a better bubble butt than me?  Seriously, this kid is stacked.

     So anyway, after a depressing day of self realization, the hubs arrived home from work and of course the first thing I had to do was ask him if he knew all this time that I was losing my butt and didn't say anything to warn me??  He just looked at me like I was all insane, laughed, and said something like, "It's not a big deal, do some squats."  WELL THANKS TIPS!

     But really, what can I expect?  During my pregnancy I tried to be active, but I wasn't about to do anything more than my preggers yoga DVD, because well, eff that.  This was MY time.  So I did A LOT of Pinning, A LOT of reading, and A LOT of desk work at the office.  And voila! Flat butt syndrome, as I like to call it, is my reward.

     What are ya gonna do?  It's inevitable that your body changes after having a baby, things are looser, extra jiggly and a little saggy.  It happens.  I guess 15 minutes a day of squats or lunges will help... or maybe I'll just buy some easy tones.  Perfect! shoes that work out for you.  Riiiiiiight...


  1. I, as well, suffer from that damn syndrome. Damn you syndrome!! I ask Shawn almost daily if he thinks my butt is flatter. He finally gave me the answer I was looking for and knew he was thinking the whole time, "it does look smaller, but you it's still 'donkey donkey'. That's short for 'badonkadonk'. lol I almost peed my pants when he told me that.
    Side note: What the hell happened to our asses? The baby didn't come out of there, so why is it suffering too!?

  2. It's the worst! It's almost concave now. But don't you worry, I wont be doing anything to fix it. Nope, I'd rather just complain about it and wait until two weeks before I have to wear a swimsuit and then have a major meltdown. I have no idea what happened... the rest of my body went back to normal... well... aside from my boobs (which went even more national geographic-y once I stopped breastfeeding), but seriously, I've been running up and down stairs 37 times a day. ??? It's a mystery.