Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hi Ho Hi Ho... F*%k Work.

Sorry 'bout that outburst of profanity... 

I'm actually sorta excited to get out of the house for once.  Next week, I will force myself back into the working world and have my go at contributing to society again.  I'd rather still hire a nanny and just spend my days at the mall or Michaels, but let's be real, we're not anywhere close to being able to afford that.  So instead I'll do something almost as fulfilling as shopping for 40 hours a week (okay not really...) but here goes!

Being a SAHM is pretty sweet.  You don't really ever have to get dressed, or shower.  You have endless cups of coffee, or if you're having a rip-out-your-hair kind of day, wine at your disposal.  You have the entire day to do whatever you choose, with ALOT of input from your new baby bff.  And you don't have to leave the house when it's shitty out (as long as you don't forget to stock up on diapers...which i'm famous for, in which case you lug your pissed off, teething kid out in the snow and off to walmart, but of course you stop for wine on the way home, because Walmart is stressful.) See what I mean... living the life right here.

She's really impressed with how we spend our days.
Note: bed partially made...win!
Third cup today... maybe have some water.

On the complete other end of the are-you-jealous-of-my-job-yet spectrum, being a SAHM can get lonely, boring, and exhausting trying to come up with new things to do and teach every ten minutes because babies attention spans are like whaaat.  
Also, you really have no excuse as to why you didn't make the bed or fold the load of laundry that's been wrinkling up in the middle of the living room for the past 48 plus hours.  Especially when you had time to paint your nails and write a blog post on what you'd like for Christmas if you were rich.  You also should probably consider making something healthy for dinner that doesn't involve everything bagels.

Momma, please don't go to work.  :(

Entering back into the work force should be pretty interesting, as all of the things I complain about while being a SAHM, will pretty much be the things I'll be dealing with for 9 hours a day while teaching preschool kids.  So yay! let's do this thing.  

On the plus side, I get a complimentary YMCA membership, so I'm super excited to get back to the gym and work on my fitness... I hope you can sense my extreme sarcasm.  If anything, maybe teaching 10-20 snotty nosed kids, whom I'm not forced to love because they look exactly like my hubs, will stave off baby fever for another year or two.

Here goes...